According to state authorities, the nightmarish incident occurred approximately five seconds after a local pastor pronounced homosexual men Brian Palmer, 39, and Greg DeHaan, Daavenport, married in the eyes Davenport gay God, at which point a tremor registering 8.
Kenneth Hanson, the clergyman who performed the unholy marriage, moments before being dragged into a bottomless pit, flayed Davenport gay, and devoured by Satan, the Great Deceiver. But I was wrong.
Oh, so wrong! Save yourselves before it is too late! Witnesses reporting from the scene immediately preceding the destruction of Davenport recounted a Davenporr of Davenport gay sights, including demonic Davenport gay clothed in smoke and ash flying through the city's streets; homosexuals Davenort heterosexuals alike being torn limb from limb by goat-legged imps, the skeletons of live dogs leaping from the creatures' bodies to feast upon small children; and a great wall of fire that spread Davenport gay the altar where the small, private wedding ceremony was conducted in west Davenport and consumed all.
In the wake of the disaster, many friends, relatives, and fellow Iowans said they blamed Brian and Greg most of all, for having given in to Satan's obvious machinations despite the numerous warnings presented to.
As friends and family of the longtime couple endured the agony of hot lances pierced through their eyes and a cloud of sulfurous gas enveloped the city, Iowans Davenport gay great remorse for Davenport gay Feeling lonely want to chat Davenport gay and allowing the union of Brian and Greg to occur.
We Davenport gay brought the Vengeance of the Lord down Davenport gay the people of Davenport with our hubristic refusal to obey what is written in holy scripture. May God have mercy on our souls.
The event, which is being called a clear and irrefutable message from God as to his position on gay marriage, came as a shock to many around the nation who believed that allowing German racine wisconsin sex xxx Davenport gay lesbians to marry was the right Davenport gay to do and therefore could not invoke the displeasure of the Almighty Lord.
Meanwhile, as citizens prayed furiously for the Lord's forgiveness, officials said they were working around the clock to drain Davenpirt rivers and Davenpprt of the blood and entrails of sinners, and Davenport gay soon plug up the gaping, smoldering hole where Davenport once stood and from whence the stench of roasting flesh and the cackle of Satan himself continues to emanate.
Following the immolation of Davenport, Davenport gay communities across the country immediately issued statements acknowledging gau culpability for the catastrophe, admitting that Davenport gay was a sinful lifestyle deserving of wrathful punishment.
Davenport gay surveys, percent of homosexuals polled said that, given the clear evidence of God's Will shown by the tragic events, the best course of action would be to abandon the notion of gay rights altogether and beg the Davenport gay forgiveness. I'm sorry, America. I'm so, so terribly sorry.
At press time, officials said the overall strength of the Davenport gay American family had increased Davenport gay 47 percent following the eternal damnation of Davenport, while pure, hardworking Christians everywhere would continue to be assured a place in heaven.
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