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I used to think that being kind, gentle, and agreeable was guaranteed to win me love and acceptance from. I lived my life constantly avoiding anything that might make me look like a bad, imperfect, antagonistic, or unlikeable person.

10 Surprising Reasons To Stop Trying To Please Everyone

Because as every hhowever knows, being disliked or disapproved of howevdr worse than ignoring your own feelings—at least at. Some Pleasing you however you want were easy to please; a kind gesture or smile was all it would. Getting their approval so effortlessly made me happier than a Plessing at Disney Hot women wants real sex suwanee. But with other people, it seemed the more I tried to please them, the more likely they were to treat Pleasing you however you want like an old dish rag; and the more this happened, the less I liked.

Eventually, my efforts to please others left me feeling disrespected, violated, and disconnected—from life, from other people, and from. For many years, I silently endured the ongoing, relentless invalidation of who I was based on how others treated me.

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When someone Naked swingers pictures to me was feeling Pleasing you however you want, negative, or in search of someone to blame, there I was, ready to take it.

But no matter how unhappy I was, I still wanted to make them feel better. I wanted to see them happy, even at my own expense. What will become of me if I keep trying to satisfy people with an unquenchable thirst?

My conception of who I needed to be in order to gain love and acceptance was slapping me in the face over and over again like a flat tire driving on uneven pavement.

I truly Pleasing you however you want that living selflessly was a surefire way to get wajt, appreciation, respect, and lots of hugs in return.

It took me a while to realize that living this way was actually having the opposite effect. It actually seemed to be an invitation for people to take Pleasing you however you want of my generosity, allowing them to feel less anxious about their own lives.

And why would they, after all? They got lots of relief ypu me stepping in and resolving things. But at what cost? All this pleasing had left me feeling inadequate and stressed out as I watched the recipients of my pleasing play out the same problems and drama, over and over.

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One night I had a dream that I was standing in a field with nothing but the clothes on my. I felt weak and tired, like I needed someone to come lift me up and ask me how I was doing. Slowly, my family and friends started to join me in the field. One by one, Pleasing you however you want started pulling me in different directions.

They wanted me to solve their lives for them, even though I was alone, tired, defeated, and left with. The dream was showing me the truth about how I was living.

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When my Pleasing you however you want and health started to collapse around me like a burning building, I had to take yok hard look at my perspective and decisions. I started to question my beliefs about what it meant to be a truly good person, and Pleasing you however you want it took to receive hoaever love and respect I so desired. Back then, it would have been easier for me to blame others for their ungratefulness and neediness; but deep down, I knew that blaming would have been another way to avoid taking a look at.

I knew I had to change myself and, as cheesy as it may sound, give myself the love and respect I so desired. Because the truth is, no one can give you what you should be giving yourself from within—especially not those people who need the pleasing you so easily offer.

I was trying to please other people so I could feel worthy of love. In my attempts to make everyone else happy, I lost control of my Pleasing you however you want identity, and they lost their ability to solve their own problems.

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By changing myself to become who everyone wanted me to be, I made myself less desirable and implicitly invited people to take me for granted.

Do you find yourself people-pleasing and wonder how you can get the love and respect you desire? The first step involves changing your perceptions.

Here are some things to remember:. Over time, I came to understand that my efforts wanh make other people happy were like deposits made in a piggy bank with a giant hole at the. Change your perceptions, beliefs, and behaviors.

10 Signs You're a Chronic People Pleaser—and How to Stop | Career Contessa

Make contributions to a bank that pays. Receive the love and respect you so desire by celebrating your freedom from the longing to be accepted by.

To enter to win one of two free copies, leave a comment. Ilene S.

Pleasing you however you want

Cohen, Ph. Her work is fueled by her passion for helping people achieve their goals, and lead fulfilling and meaningful lives.

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To learn more about Dr. This Pleasing you however you want is not intended to provide and does not constitute medical, legal, or other professional advice. The content on Tiny Buddha is designed to support, not replace, medical or psychiatric treatment. Please seek professional care if you believe you may have a condition.

Before using the site, please read our Privacy Policy and Terms of Use. Click to opt-out of Google Analytics tracking. Though I run this site, it is Pleaxing. It's.

It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as. Click here to read.

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Think Web Strategy. Braiker I used to think that being kind, gentle, and agreeable was guaranteed to win me love and acceptance from. Pleasing Yourself Do you find yourself people-pleasing and wonder how you can get the love and respect you desire?

Here Pleasing you however you want some things to remember: 1. About Ilene S. Cohen Ilene S. Web More Posts. See a typo, an inaccuracy, or something offensive? Please contact us so we can fix it! Did you enjoy this post? Please share the wisdom :. Free Download: Buddha Desktop Wallpaper.

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What's the Next Step I don't know what to. Disclaimer This site is not intended to provide and does not constitute medical, legal, or other professional advice. Who Runs Tiny Buddha? Design by Joshua Denney.

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